How to Get a Long-Distance Relationship to Work
Sometimes, the person who won your heart is on the other side of the globe. And as much as you don’t want it, you can’t do anything about it. Circumstances like these have left you wondering how to get a long-distance relationship to work.
There are no hard-and-fast rules. Countless articles may show and tell people how to do long-distance relationships. However, circumstances vary among couples. No guide applies to everyone.
And with that, navigating them isn’t for the faint-hearted. Some days seem easy, while others are an exhausting uphill climb. The obvious obstacle (distance) aside, uncertainty is also a challenge. However, it shouldn’t be enough to paralyze you in fear.
Here’s how you and your partner can survive and thrive together—even when you’re apart.
What Kills Long-Distance Relationships?
Before we discuss making these relationships function, we’ll get to know their killers.
As mentioned earlier, long-distance relationships are no easy matter. Temptations hover around, and bad examples are ever-present. And when you fall for them, you’ll have a difficult time getting back on your feet and winning your partner back.
You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know what you’re up against. These are among the reasons some long-distance relationships falter:
Impatience
Modern society’s fast pace has made most (if not all) expect instant gratification. But here’s the thing: relationships don’t work that way.
They need time and effort to fully bloom, especially long-distance ones. The gap doesn’t do them any favors since they can’t find an immediate remedy.
Both parties need to up the ante. But because instant gratification doesn’t work in LDRs, some couples can’t help but feel antsy.
Pessimism
Maintaining long-distance relationships can take a lot out of somebody. The challenges can wear you out mentally and emotionally, leaving you exhausted and frustrated. Mix all of them together, and you’ll have a dark cloud of pessimism hovering over you.
Negativity is a dangerous killer for a reason. You feel helpless and powerless when there seems to be no end in sight. And when those feelings overtake you, it’ll seem like there’s no point in fighting for your relationship.
Diminishing or lack of effort
Relationships are a team sport, and long-distance ones require both parties to exert extra effort to keep the wheels from falling off. Grand gestures become grander, and the little things become more magnified.
LDRs won’t work if only one person is keeping their promise. What’s the point in staying in one if the other acts like it doesn’t exist?
This lack of effort may be rooted in reason #2. Since the negativity has taken over, making any effort feels pointless.
Infidelity
Among all the reasons listed in this section, this is arguably the biggest one. Many LDR couples have ended because of cheating.
People make mistakes in relationships, but infidelity is a different level of colossal. The devastation is especially felt in an LDR marriage. The betrayal feels extra painful because of the distance.
Once one party starts looking for love in another direction despite being in a committed LDR, there’s no turning back from that.
How to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work
Now that you know what to avoid, it’s time to learn what you should embrace. Keep your long-distance love alive with these tips. Of course, feel free to adjust, depending on your situation, love languages, needs, and priorities.
#1: Step up in the communication department.
The importance of communication can’t be overstated. It’s only one part of the engine, but it plays a huge role nonetheless. Neither you nor your partner will know what’s happening if someone doesn’t say something.
Long-distance relationships need extra effort on the communication front. Since body language isn’t on your side, you should heighten the use of verbal cues. If something feels off, don’t make each other play guessing games. You’re not mind-readers. Let each other know your thoughts and feelings without beating around the bush.
If you’re up for it, you and your partner can set a communication schedule. Just ensure it aligns with your needs, is flexible, and is attainable.
#2: Throw in surprises when you can.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder because it drives you to express your feelings in alternative ways. Since you can’t convey them physically, you should show your love through other means.
One way to pull that off is through surprises. They’re great for injecting excitement and conveying thoughtfulness. Some establishments, like flower shops, have services that allow delivery from and to anywhere in the world. Let’s say you want to surprise your long-distance girlfriend. You can send her a bouquet from afar.
Do you want to up the ante? Make your surprise come in the form of yourself. Pop in for a visit for the ultimate present.
#3: Learn to enjoy your own company.
Knowing how to get a long-distance relationship to work goes beyond taking note of what you should do as a couple. It also involves learning what you can do for yourself.
Being apart doesn’t feel great, but this is a friendly reminder that you’re more than just your relationship. You and your partner have other things to live for, too.
The world doesn’t stop just because you’re physically separated. Why waste life moping when you can make something out of it?
Alone time doesn’t (and shouldn’t) have to be miserable. Independence is vital in relationships (even long-distance ones) because individual growth can contribute to a couple’s development.
And with that, do things that you find enjoyable. Whether it’s an old hobby or a new interest, pursue it.
Your partner isn’t the only person in your life. Your other loved ones still exist! Catch up with friends and family whenever you can.
#4: Plan your future.
The timeline of your long-distance relationship may seem endless, but you will eventually be in the same zip code. Will that take time? Yes. But once that reunion happens, your patience and hard work will be worth it.
But things won’t happen magically, though. If you want a future together, you can’t rely on fate to do the planning for you. Do it yourselves, together.
Also, this future doesn’t stop at your eventual reunion. It’ll also include the next few weeks, months, and years. Planning together will give your relationship direction—something sorely missed in LDRs.
We hope you learn how to get a long-distance relationship to work as a unit. Don’t let all your efforts be for naught, and don’t let cynics tell you it’s impossible.
