When to Divorce: Signs Your Relationship Is Beyond Repair
Sometimes, there comes a point in a marriage where the couple has to accept that what they have is no longer working.
Though it can be hard to acknowledge, let alone come to terms with signs your relationship is beyond repair, it’s important to face the reality that perhaps it’s better for you and your spouse to end things and let each other go.
It can be the only way for you to move on and find another chance at true happiness.
Signs a Marriage Cannot Be Saved
How do you know when a marriage is really over?
The first step is to figure out what issues in your marriage can still be fixed and which ones are signs your marriage is over.
Most of the time, it’s easier said than done. It can be especially difficult if you both still want to be together but outside factors are making it harder to hold on. After all, it’s possible to be in love but your relationship is not working due to other reasons.
But there are also times when you have to go your separate ways because you know, deep inside, that your marriage just isn’t going anywhere.
There is lack of trust and respect
A huge red flag in any relationship and one of the earliest signs that you and your spouse are no longer good for each other is if there’s no trust and respect between you.
If you love someone, you should also be able to rely on them and hold them in high regard. You must be able to have faith in their unconditional love and support for you, considering that they are the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with.
Without trust, you will find yourself constantly doubting your spouse’s goals and motivations. You cannot depend on them to be honest and reliable, which makes sharing a life and home with them even more challenging.
Without respect, it’ll be hard for you to treat them as your equal — as someone whose opinion you take seriously in every important decision that you make. Being married to someone you don’t think highly of can also lead to resentment, which can eventually turn into outright disdain.
When you encourage negative emotions in your relationship, it’s easy to end up hurting the person you’re supposed to love, regardless of your conscious intentions.
You have constant fights that don’t get resolved
Though arguments between you and your spouse are considered normal and not automatic signs your relationship is beyond repair, it’s also not healthy if you’re unable to go one day without fighting.
The goal of any disagreement between couples should be to understand each other and reach a solution that will satisfy both parties. When you’re fighting with your spouse, you must be willing to meet them halfway and sometimes even humble yourself to keep the peace.
Ideally, your marriage should be more important than your pride.
So if you notice that the frequency of your marital spats have increased, then you may need to reevaluate some important things in your relationship. It’s when the objective has gone from considering where your spouse is coming from to being always right that fights in your marriage can herald more serious problems.
There is no emotional and physical intimacy
A successful relationship requires careful and consistent maintenance. This is where intimacy comes in.
Since love and affection serve as the backbone of any marriage, you need to express your feelings for each other through words and actions. Without a genuine emotional and physical connection, there doesn’t seem to be much of a point in being with each other.
It’s also true that you can love each other but fail to maintain intimacy in your relationship. Some couples believe that just because they’re done making their vows, it means they can be complacent and assume they don’t need to keep the fire burning.
But that’s never the case, and that kind of mindset can, in fact, be the downfall of your marriage.
It may be easy to blame the stress of your shared life and responsibilities for not having the time or energy to maintain your closeness. But without it, your bond with your spouse can slowly but surely deteriorate until you reach the point of no return.
If you find yourself unwilling to invest in intimacy, then maybe it’s because you think your partner just isn’t worth it.
You have different goals in life
Marrying someone entails a commitment to build a life and home together.
If you can’t fulfill that commitment because you want different things, then that is a huge hurdle that your relationship may not be able to overcome.
There’s nothing wrong with having aspirations outside of your marriage. A lot of married people have successful careers and social circles that aren’t necessarily tied to their spouse. It’s still important to maintain your independence and autonomy even when you’re hitched.
But if your entire lives are moving in opposite directions — if you can’t reconcile both of your goals for your marriage — then it’s possible that you’re not compatible enough for a future together.
The Reason Why People Still Want to Get Married
Despite the very real possibility of getting married to someone only to realize they’re not the one for you after all, a lot of people still dream about the wedding they will have with the love of their life.
We can’t really blame them or begrudge those guys the chance to be happy.
Because when you do it right, it’s possible to have a wonderful marriage with someone who loves and respects you — someone who will actually learn how to properly communicate without hurting your feelings.
You can find a partner who wants the same things out of life as you do and make an effort to build a strong bond with you that will last for the rest of your lives.
Is marriage worth it? With the right person, it most definitely can be.
Finding Love after Divorce
Having to accept all the signs your relationship is beyond repair and going through a divorce can be a traumatic experience. No one can blame you for giving up on love altogether as a result.
But you also have to remember that as long as you're alive, there’s still a chance for you to try again.
You won’t even have to start from scratch. Even if your marriage ended and you had to let go of someone you once thought you’d be with forever, the things you shared still matter.
The lessons you learned about what made your last marriage fail can always help you succeed in the next one.
