Break up in Person

There is no better way to demonstrate how much you value the person and your relationship than to show up and be honest with them despite the discomfort. Select a private space where you can be honest and let your feelings run wild without being bothered by onlookers who might use the occasion to spread gossip.

Be Honest About How You Feel

Recognize your emotions and compose yourself before having the breakup conversation. This way, you won’t allow your messy emotions to run amok. When you speak with them, be mindful of your tone and remain as calm as possible, especially when explaining why you believe breaking up is the best option for you both.

Being aware of your own conflict is also crucial at this moment. Perhaps prepare a reply for yourself, but be gentle and kind!

Strictly Use “I” Statements When Speaking

State your side without pointing fingers. Speaking from your own point of view is the best way to settle a conflict. For instance, rather than placing the blame on her if she hasn’t been very encouraging to you, say, "I want to be in a relationship where I feel appreciated and supported."

Keep it simple. Maintain discipline when it comes to digging into past hurts and being critical of your partner.

Express Your Appreciation

You are breaking up with someone you love. Take a moment to acknowledge them for the great things that happened throughout the course of your relationship, as well as the lessons you learned from each other.

That person probably has wonderful qualities that you still admire, so take this opportunity to make them feel that they’re still loved even if the relationship has to end. Caring doesn’t stop overnight. We are humans, and we understand how difficult this is for both sides.

Give Them Space to Communicate

Refusing to give them a voice simply because you started the breakup will come across as condescending. You should respect them and give them time to speak because it is inevitable that they will react emotionally.

In order to help them better understand you, be true when answering their questions. The most considerate thing you can do is to listen to them with empathy and be honest with them so they do not waste time wondering and getting caught in a negative spiral.

No Matter How They React, Stick to Your Decision

This is why you should spend time reflecting and being clear about your needs before making a decision. They may beg you to change your mind, become angry, promise to change, or express great sadness. Commit to staying calm, prepare yourself for what might happen. Have faith that you’re making the right choice and that you two will eventually get through this challenging time.

When to break up with someone? The best time is when they’re in a more relaxed state as well, so you may have the option to remove yourself from the situation if they uncontrollably lash out and come back once you’re both cooled down.

Respectfully Cut off Contact

After the split, don't initiate any type of contact. This covers EVERY method of communication, such as texting, calling, direct messages, stalking on social media, or stopping by. This can be temporary or permanent.

Aside from that, it won’t help either of you to ask for or offer them support. Allow the person the time and space they need to grieve without your interference. This allows both of you to move forward naturally over time.

Unfriend or Block Them From Your Social Media

You probably still want to follow them on their accounts to see what they are up to, but remember to be really honest with yourself. You are looking at their life updates; do you think that is fair to them? Is it maintaining your connection to them?

Social media is the simplest thing to unplug. Unless you still wish to maintain relationships with them, which will make it difficult to give yourself a mental vacation from them, it is never required.

Don’t Talk Bad About Them to Others

Cutting off contact isn’t an excuse to badmouth them to other people. You can share your feelings and experiences with your close friends or family members, but practice kindness when talking about your ex.

Although we acknowledge that friends are great medicines that let you express your feelings, always watch what you say. We don’t believe it’s appropriate to make fun of someone you recently split from.

Make an Effort to Improve Yourself

The mere fact that you are aware of your ex's toxic traits doesn’t mean that you’re free of them. Make the most of your breakup by reflecting on yourself, assessing your physical and mental well-being, and granting yourself permission to rebuild, rediscover, and reinvest in your personal identity.

Give yourself grace when you are grieving too. You can cry when you need to, rely on your support system, watch heartbreaking movies, or listen to heartbreak songs. Each person moves on at their own pace, so don’t rush yours simply because the other party appears to be fine.